...it will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning

Ever since our first day of class, the question “Why do I get out of bed in the morning?” has evoked a sense of struggle and reflection on the purpose of my life thus far. It has caused me to question where I have truly found motivation for the things that I am involved in and passionate about, even when stress and physical exhaustion make my day to day routine seem impossible. Getting out of bed in the morning seemed like the simplest thing to me before coming to college and before reflecting on it this past week. It was part of a routine that I had for twelve years of elementary and high school at home. I would get up, go to school, go to activities, come home and do my assignments, go to bed and then repeat the process starting the next morning. It became something I had to do and there was really no choice involved in it. If someone had asked me four or five years ago why I got out of bed in the morning, I would have most likely responded with “Because I have to”. After coming to college, taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me and having the most incredible experiences, I have started to find more of who I truly am, what I am called to do with my time and energy and what really does motivate me to get out of bed in the morning.

Many experiences that I have had over the past three years, especially my service immersion trips to New Mexico and Ecuador, have changed my life in every sense of the phrase. After returning home from New Mexico, I began to realize what truly motivated me and brought me joy. This realization was reflected in my change of major and how I chose to spend my time and energy in activities on campus. As a result, the people who I surrounded myself with changed as well and they not only supported the decisions I made, but also became part of my motivation. After starting my sophomore year, I saw that there was a significant difference in my attitude and outlook from freshman year. This difference shocked my family and friends and I even shocked myself. Even though I could not believe this difference, I knew it was one that had happened for the better. While many of my friends frequently refer to this difference as a change, I have always referred to it as growth. I am, for the most part, the same, physical person I was when I came to Saint Joe’s. My worldview and spirituality, however, have experienced an indescribable growth that I never saw myself having in only four, short years. While I am extremely blessed and happy with the place I am at now in my life, I constantly look back on my freshman year and the growth I had. That time of growth is not something I regret or see as a waste. It is just as valuable and important as the point I am at now in my life and I would not be where I am now without it.

While I thank God every day for the opportunity to have experienced all that I have over the past two and a half years, I thank him even more for the motivation that these experiences of growth have brought me. Pedro Arrupe’s quote, “What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings…fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything (Molloy)”, perfectly sums up what my experiences have done for me. I have found so much of myself in the experiences that I have had and the people who I have met and they have helped me piece together the purpose that God has set out for me. Even when I am stressed out and overworked, I find the energy to keep going and I know that that energy and motivation comes from the immense love and passion that I have for service and finding God in my experiences, even when it is difficult. By no means have I found my entire purpose and I have my struggles when I do not understand an experience I am having or when I just feel lost. While these moments are difficult, I always come back to a memory from one of my trips or a conversation with a friend and I find the motivation that I need. The ability to find the love inside of me and not give up, even when it is difficult, is how I know that my motivation is real. Those motivations are what get me out of bed in the morning, literally and figuratively. Yes, I get up and go to school, just like I have done routinely for twelve years, but I get out of bed in a different way now. I get out of bed thanking God for giving me another day to experience the motivation I get from doing what I love and feeling a rush of excitement knowing that the day ahead of me is a step closer to seeing the purpose that God has planned for me.